


The Lonely Heart

by AmeliaAurelia



Category: Larry Stylinson - Fandom
Genre: Art, Body Worship, Boys Kissing, Crush at First Sight, First Kiss, First Love, M/M, Makeup, Moving, Mpreg, Music, Painting, Punk Louis Tomlinson, loner louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 17:00:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29654454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmeliaAurelia/pseuds/AmeliaAurelia
Summary: Since tomorrow is monday i found the clothes i´ll be wearing, a pair of jeans in redsih more wine red, a black hoodie with one sleeve cut off i´d that myself so i can wear like 4 leather bracelets that goes with the outfit and standout at the same time, my make-up will be black eyeshadow in a cat eye with red around the black, it looks amazingly cool and with blue lipstick, my lipstick or lip gloss always stands out, i had my nails done in fire blue on one hand and red on the other.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Zayn Malik/Louis Tomlinson
Kudos: 4





	1. New Kid In Town

**Author's Note:**

> I was reading a story when i just got this idea :D and i didn´t know how it would turn out but i´m happy.
> 
> I want to share it you ya all :) i hope you like it:).

Since i was 6 we´re been moving here and there all over the uk and even in the us as well, while moving so much i never got the chance to make friends, so i became a loner but not by choice it just happen, we´re never lived one place mere then 4 months or a few times 6 months but still not long enough to make an actual friend.  
I was around 14 when i began to use make-up and dress in punk clothes to find out who i am and while i´d i also realised i never felt more me when i do, my parents are not the biggest fans of my look but they let me do it, i guess to kinda make up for moving so much around.  
When my mom told me we´re stay in Holmes Chapel till i graduate high school is strange to me cause that´s a year we´re never lived anywhere a year before.  
Since tomorrow is monday i found the clothes i´ll be wearing, a pair of jeans in redsih more wine red, a black hoodie with one sleeve cut off i´d that myself so i can wear like 4 leather bracelets that goes with the outfit and standout at the same time, my make-up will be black eyeshadow in a cat eye with red around the black, it looks amazingly cool and with blue lipstick, my lipstick or lip gloss always stands out, i had my nails done in fire blue on one hand and red on the other.  
The next morning while getting dressed and doing my make-up i listen to music, it´s something i do every morning it´s my way to wake up on, first thing i do when i open my eyes after the alarm wakes me i put my earphones in.  
Though we´re been living here almost a week i haven´t been outside much other our own backyard, when we moved here we drove past the school and i´m really good at directions i only have to see a road once and i know where to find whatever.  
After i was done i went down to the kitchen to have a glass of juice or to, i drink juice every morning "morning Boo ready for your first day."  
"Yeah not like it´s my first time mom i´ll be fine always am" i said and put the glass in the washer.  
"We know it hasn´t been easy for you moving so much love."  
"It was hard as a kid but now i´m a loner mom i´m good in my own company."  
"You know you could always make a profile on facebook and keep up with everyone Boo" she said as she had some of her coffee.  
"Keep up with who mom i don´t have any friends so why would i have face profile" i told her "it would be pathetic i might be the lonely kid but i won´t be the pathetic kid mom hell no."  
"Okay well remember dad and i are working late so money on the table for pizza or whatever you order for dinner darling."  
"Sure and i´ll be on my way see you tonight maybe" i didn´t gave her a chance to reply i just walked out the door.  
I put my earphones in again and found Alexander Rybak song Leave Me Alone it´s my fave song these days longside Damian Dawn Silent Scream, i have those on repeat, i don´t really care about if a song is pop or metal as long as the lyric has a beautiful meaning and not empty i can´t listen to an empty lyric.  
While i walked to school many people looked at me like i´m crazy or on drugs which i´m not, i guess no one here has never seen a punk before but i just rolled my eyes at whoever stared at me.  
It took me 20 minutes to get to the school, and when i got here all the other students as well as some teachers looked at me, again i just rolled my eyes, i took my earphones out when i got to the principal´s office, the lady who is at the front desk told me to take a sit and wait a bit till the principal said okay.

After waiting 10 long minutes the lazy ass man finally said come in, i walked in and closet the door behind me and sat down in front of him "first off welcome to Comprehensive school mr Tomlinson and second i´m apologies for the wait."  
"It´s fine no worries."  
"A man of few words i see okay well Liz has your schedule over your classes and everything else you´ll need" he said and i nodded and i was about to got up "before you go" i sat down again "though we want out students to feel good there is just somethings we don´t allow here mr Tomlinson and what your wearing will not be tolerated here" he told me.  
"Wow okay so the students can feel good but without being themself that make a lot of sense sir" i said and leaned forward in the chair "no one tells me how to dress old man okay this is who i am and if students and teachers here can´t take something new then that´s a you problem and not a me problem" i said very cold, i´ll never heard something more ridiculous, i got up "you can call and tell my mom on me but it won´t help" with that i walked out and closed the door again, then i got my schedyle from the lady.  
I found my locker and under rules we can do whatever we want with them and that gave me an idea, a few lockers down i saw one with green cat eyes and it´s kinda cool.  
I got to my first class which is english, i knocked on the door and the woman voice said come in so i open the door and walked in and closet the door behind me "can i help you young man" she asks nice.  
"Yeah i´m new and i´m in your class" i said.  
"Okay welcome then why don´t you tell us your name and have a sit next to Harry over by the window" she smile.  
"Okay well i´m the son of the devil and i moved here last week" it was all i felt like saying or sharing so i walked over to the sit by the window and sat down.  
"So son of the devil really" he said and i looked over at him.  
"What" i shaked my head a bit.  
"No i mean what´s you actual name."  
"Just call me the Devil."  
He rolled his eyes which made me smirk "Okay "Devil" i kinda dig your look and so will my friend Zayn."  
"Good to know i guess" i took my book from my bag and lay it on the table.  
"I´m Harry by the way it´s to meet" he smile and damn his smile is cute.  
I just nodded trying to listen to what the teacher said, i may not look like it but i´m a straight a student "could you shut up so i can hear what she says" i told him.  
He didn´t say another word to me doing the class which thanked devil for.  
After class was over i send my dad a text about my locker idea and he answered he would try, which is all i want.  
My next calss is art and i love art actually, i love when i get to be outside the box and creative.  
I sat next to a brown haired girl on one side and the other was a black or so haired guy, then the guy said something "so your the Devil Harry told me about."  
"Let me guess Zayn" he smiled while nodding.  
"Love your look mate" he smirk.  
"We won´t be mates alright i´m a loner so just leave me alone" then the teacher walked in.  
"Sorry i´m a bit late students" he said kindly "i see we have a new student what´s name young man."  
"Just think of me as the Devil´s son" i said and then out of the corner of my eye i saw the girl next to me smiling at me.  
"I think your sexy as hell Devil wanna ear lunch together or better yet let´s go on a date" she said and wow i can´t believe how bolt she is, i kinda dig it.  
"Sorry love but won´t happen either one" was all i said.  
"Fine then meet me in the bathroom next door after class" she smirk, i mean woo.  
"I´m not going to fuck you whatever your name is."  
"Eleanor but everyone calls me El and your seriously gonna keep all that sexiness to yourself."  
"I am yeah also your not my type anyway."  
Before she got the chance to talk again the teacher told us we can paint whatever comes to us and i´m so game.  
I can paint really fast but i also put so much detail in it´ll take some classes before i´m done with my vampire and devil.  
Before i knew it the class was over and it´s time for lunch, i bought a water and a salad, i´m an vegetarian and cafe´s salad looks really good, i put my earphones in a played the song again the this morning.  
I found a place to sit at a bench under a tree, i´m not that fund of the sun, i eat and drank in piece thanked devil.  
After i eat and cleaned up while still listening to music, i went to the mensroom to fix up my lipstick and eyeliner in my eyes and while i´d that other guys came and went while looking weird at me but i don´t care.  
My next class is history and Harry is also in this class and he´s sitting next to a brown haired guy who looks kinda cute i´m no liar.  
I sat down by the window up front since it´s the only empty sit, then the teacher came in and i said what i´d in the to other about the devil thing.  
At the end of the class the teacher told us to read up on a historic person for tomorrow and again i´m game, not the first time i was told to do that.   
I stop by my locker to throw some books in i´m not gonna need till morning, then i heard some familiar voices coming closer and when i turned my head i saw Harry and Zayn, as i closet the locker they stopped next to me "hi we´re going to Zayn´s place to study wanna join" Harry ask with a smile.  
Don´t get me wrong i really do dig Zayn and a bit Harry, i do kinda want to get to know them well mostly Zayn, i also just wanna be left alone but something tells me if i say no Harry´s gonna ask why and probably 100 other questions as well "sure."  
"Perfect we´re go to the store first then my house" Zayn said "oh by the way you can call me Z everyone calls me that and we call Harry Haz Hazza or Hazzy whichever one you prefer" i nodded.  
We went to the store to buy some drinks i bought a couple of lemonade´s they have my fave one, then to Zayn´s place and when i saw his room i was surprised nothing like i thought it would be like.  
Posters with chicks in bikinis even a couple of men in sexy swimwear, a few on biks and one of Batman, if i didn´t know better Zayn´s either bi or just carefree either way i dig his room, it´s nothing like my own.  
"I´m bi Devil in case you were wondering" he said.  
"I wasn´t but good to know anyway should we begin on our homework."  
"Before we do" Harry said "what´s your name."  
"If you really must know it´s Louis" i said "my dad sometimes calls me Devil."  
"Why it´s a strange nickname."  
"Look i´m a loner which also means stay out of my personal space."  
"Then why the fuck did you say yes to come here" Zayn asks a bit annoyed which i get hey i´m annoyed to.  
"Cause i knew Harry would ask a 100 questions if i said no but can we please just do our work" they both nods.

We were half done when Zayn talk to me again, they are sitting on his bed while i was sitting on the floor "why did you tell El no in art class no one ever say no to her."  
"If either or both of you want to f her be my guest but i´m good."  
"I´m kinda gay so no" i just nodded i knew Harry is gay i can see it on him.  
"She isn´t so much my type so" Zayn said "i just broke up with my ex boyfriend so i´ll just be single for the time being what about you Louis."  
"Nah my parents and i been moving around since i was 6 so i never been a place long enough for something to happen but i´m also good."  
"Wow where did you stay the longest then" Harry asks.  
"It would be here we´re staying a year so i can finish high school after that i don´t know but before that it was LA with almost 7 months but that was 3 years ago."  
"No wonder your a loner but didn´t you make any friends" Zayn asks.  
"As a kid yes but after my 10th birthday i just stopped" i told them "i´ll been a loner for 8 years but i´m fine i´m good i like my own company" i looked up at them and i can see they don´t believe me but who cares "where is your bathroom."  
"Down the hall last door on your right" Zayn said and i got up and walked out but not to far i wanna know what they actually think of me.  
"What do you think of him Z."  
"I honestly think he´s super hot and so my type and if i could i would hit that over and over but somehow i don´t think he´ll would want to do me" kinda of a lie Zayn also my type of guy "what about you Haz."  
"Like you said he´s hot but what i like most about him is his mysterious" glad they think weird stuff about me but who knows really.  
I went out to the bathroom to release the dragon and then back to Zayn´s room, i sat down on the floor again and drink a bit of my lemonade and the can is half empty now.  
"So Louis how does it feel being the new kid in town" Harry asks and it made me look up at them both.  
"Like i´m use to it so it Harry that´s how it feels."  
"What kind of feeling is it" Zayn asks maybe hoping for a better answer.  
"Annoying frustrating that´s how it feels but again i´m use to the feeling" that´s i´m honest answer.  
They finally stopped asking questions and got back to work, i finished my work for history on Abraham Lincoln, since i didn´t get homework for the other classes i´m done, i also drank some more lemonade.  
I put my history books back in my bag as well as my other can of lemonade for later on.  
"I´m out of here i´ll see you both around" i got up and throw my bag over my shoulder.  
"See you tomorrow then Louis" Harry said.  
"Yeah see ya" Zayn said.  
I walked out and into the hall and put my boots on and then out the door.

Half an hour later i was home and i feels good to be 100% alone, i went into my room and i never thought i would this happy to see see all my posters of vampires wolfs and devils.  
Though it´s good to be all alone again i also can´t get Zayn nor Harry out of my mind, it´s kinda funny both lads are hot in their own way, and if i´m 100% honest with myself i wouldn´t mind either or both of them at different times of course, i may not look like it but i´m no cheater.

Doing the last month i meet Zayn and Harry´s other friend Niall and he seen like a fine lad.  
My dad had some people made me a see through door for my locker, i may have secrets but my locker doesn´t.  
I also found myself spending more and more with Zayn and less by myself, there is definitely something between us, we may not had kissed or anything but i feel funny when i´m near him or him near me.  
Harry and i even became good friends but then again they wouldn´t leave me alone in school so we came to know one another.

It´s lunch time but before i went to the cafe to buy my lunch i went to the mensroom to fix my lipstick this time it´s green, i also fixed up my eyeliner.  
I went to the cafe and bought some lunch and walked out and saw Zayn Harry and Niall sitting at a bench under a tree and no it´s the one i use to sit at alone, i actually found myself smiling the closer i got to the bench or the closer i got to Zayn i like him so much.  
"Hi what´s up" i said before sitting next to Zayn maybe a bit closer then i should but when i tried to move a bit he lay a hand on my leg as in don´t you dare move, we smile at each other and he let his hand stay on my thigh but i like his touch.  
"Not much i was just about to ask Zayn where his new boyfriend is at but your here now so i don´t have to ask" Niall said and i raised an eyebrow.  
"Niall stop it we´re not i don´t know what we are alright" Zayn told him off "we haven´t even had our first kiss yet."  
"But you want to i can tell you wanna kiss Louis and you wanna kiss him bad" i could tell Niall was half joking and half being serious.  
"If you don´t shut up Niall i´m gonna kiss you" i said half annoyed by him and half to shut him up.  
"Okay but i don´t like you like that so i won´t kiss back" i rolled my eyes.  
I began eating my salad and drink my water and the others finish their lunch.  
Niall drag Harry with him after they were done eating but why i don´t know it just happen so fast and without a word "so it´s just us" Zayn said.  
I look over at him and lean in to kiss him and for my first kiss it felt good even great actually, we deeped it and Zayn can kiss and a few minutes later we both pulled away "so how did it feel" he asks.  
"Like i wanna do it again and you have green lips Z" i girn.  
"Well there you go i´ll just have to get use to lipstick on my lips won´t i" he asks.  
"If you wanna keep kissing me then yes" he kiss me again.  
"So are we dating or just keep have something with kisses now."  
"I don´t know i´ll never been in a situation like this" i told him.  
"Okay well i have a few times and we´re seeing each other which means we only kiss each other" sounds okay with me so i kissed him.


	2. Love Isn´t Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all i hope you enjoyed the first chapter and here the second one :).

The last 4 months has been great, having this thing with Zayn is great and i like our kisses so much he´s a good kisser really.  
He haven´t meet my parents yet though maybe because i want us a bit more serious first or something but also because of their work.  
We even got a project for art class in pair of to, my partner is Eleanor, we got the class to talk about what we´re do.  
Needless to say we didn´t agree on much we´re to different in art or maybe just in general, i wish my partner was Zayn we would had come up with a 100 different idea by now but instead this.  
"Eleanor instead of keeping this up how about we meet up after school and go home to either one of us and talk there" i suggested.  
"Good idea but my house is a mess these days so we´re go to your´s" she said and i just nodded, at this point i don´t care.  
"Great now i´ll like to go on with my picture" i´m still not done yet cause of all the details.  
She went back to her own picture.  
My look today is black skinny jeans with holes all the way down both legs, a hoodie without sleeves in blood red and 4 leather bracelets on each hand, black and red eyeshadow in a cat eye like always and purple lip gloss.

When school was out for the day Zayn and i walked out hand in hand, then i saw Eleanor waiting for me so i kissed Zayn goodbye and walked to her "ready to go then" i asks.  
"Yeah duh just waiting for you" wow much she kinda a bitch.  
We walked to my house which is only 20 minutes walk away "you should get a car dude."  
I rolled my eyes and open the door i guess one of them is working from home today.  
"I can´t believe you live here i´ll drove pass this house 1000 of times and never once before being in here."  
"Well now you are and let´s go to my room and talk idea´s" i said.  
We walked into the kitchen first and i gave her a soda and had one myself then to my room "this is me and my world."  
"Seeing everything on your walls i get the picture your working on in art class."  
"Yeah well i´m punk i´m into all this" we sat down on my bed.  
"So i have a question for you."  
"Which is."  
"Are you ever gonna kiss me and have sex with me" i look over at her with a weird look "your the only guy i want who doesn´t want me back."  
"Eleanor i want you to hear what i´m about to say" she nodded with a big smile "i´m gay not straight or bi i´m only into dicks or lads."  
"Your to hot to be anything but straight honey" she tried to kiss me but i push her away.  
"I´m not into you girls or you" i told her cold "can we just talk idea´s so you can go home or just leave my house."  
"Whatever at one point you´ll be coming for me" winked at me.  
"You know what i´ll do the project myself and put a unicorn in so in looks like we both did it."  
"Don´t kill it at least and keep the vampires wolfs and devils to a minimum" she said.  
"Hey my picture i´ll put in whatever i feel like and how you are a straight a in art is a mystery to me."  
"Why is that."  
"Your fucking lazy you don´t put the work in and now your dropping out of the project" i said annoyed.  
"Let me have my way with you and i´ll let you have all the power for the project and i´ll do whatever you ask me to do."  
"Get the fuck out of my house bitch" i said cold.  
"What."  
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS HOUSE BITCH AND GET A LIFE" i screamed at her and she got up and walked out.  
I´m so mad i just took my drawing book and began to draw different sign of the death symbols, it´s a way for me to calm down when something pisses me off, i began to draw when i was 10, all the anger i felt when we moved drawing just help getting it out and i was 13 when i began to draw the symbol of death.  
No one knows i do it not even my parents has seen any of my drawing books i just don´t think they´ll understand it like they don´t understand why i dress like a punk but then again they also never tried to so.

I didn´t sleep very well that night cause i´m so mad, so the next morning i dressed in all black and black eyeshadow and black lipstick, i just feel black or dark or whatever.  
I went to the kitchen i have my juice.  
As i walked to school i was listening to Tate McRae You broke me first and Alan Walker Faded.  
As soon as i got to the school i tried to find my art teacher but i have trouble finding him, so i looked in the homeroom and there he is "excuse me teach."  
"Ah mr Tomlinson what i help you with" he smile.  
"I was wondering if i could either work alone or with another group for the project cause Eleanor is impossible to work with."  
He didn´t answer or reply right away he looked at his papers first and then back at me "i have to say your a great student hard working and i can´t wait for you to finish that picture of your´s" he said.  
"Then can i work alone then or with someone else."  
"Do you have someone in mind."  
"If you don´t mind i´ll like to work with Zayn and his group or just him."  
"I´ll see what i can do but now you better hurry up before your late for your first class" he said and i nodded.  
I got to my first class just in time and sat down next to Harry "why are you almost late Lou."  
"I talked to my art teacher about something Haz but i´m here now" he smile at me and i´m still gone for his smile but it also make me feel guilty cause i´m seeing Zayn and i really like him but Harry oh brother there something about i´m just gone for.  
"Hi you okay i´ll never seen you in all black before" i can hear the worrying in his voice.  
"Had a bad day yesterday and still a bit today Haz."  
Doing first class i keep thinking about Zayn but also Harry and how they both make me feel and i think i need to break things off with him.  
Theres just something there keep telling me i can never love him in a way he should be or maybe i´m just not meant to love cause i can´t bring myself to love him and it´s been 4 months so far and i still only like him.  
When the class was over i put my books in my bag and walked out fast to find Zayn, which i´d at his locker when he saw me he smile at me when i stopped next to him "hi baby" he kissed me "guess what."  
"What."  
"I got an a in math" he smile happy "it feel great and Lou."  
"Yes what."  
"I love you baby i know we haven´t said it to each other before but i love you."  
Crap crap crap crap is all there go through my mind, just what i wish he wouldn´t had said.  
"Lou you okay baby."  
"Oh er yeah fine i just i ohm" i don´t know where to start.  
"Lou" he asks a bit worried in his tone.  
"Zayn i really like you but i can´t shit" he got big eye like what the f "let me try again i don´t think i´m meant to love i really do like kissing you but i can´t bring myself to love you i´m so sorry" he looked away from me which i get "Z please i want you in my life but as a friend."  
"Is there someone else or."  
"I wish i could answer but i can´t cause i don´t know" i really do feel sorry for him "i never wanted to hurt you Z really i just know myself and i know i like you but i won´t love you not how you should be anyway."  
"I believe you didn´t ever wanted to hurt me Lou and we´re still friends i just need time and i hope you get that" i nodded " good now let´s get to class."  
"Wait" he look at me again and then i kissed him "a goodbye kiss" he nodded.  
We walked to art class together and sat down and a minute later out teacher walked in "hi students before anything starts one of you students ask me something this morning and he´ll either like to work alone or with someone else" he said and right now please alone "he´ll work alone and you may begin on your group project."  
I switch my picture out with an empty one and went to work, i just got the best idea, the hellhound and unicorn to forces there never should have met but somehow did anyway, good thing we have a month to do this in.  
Eleanor joined another group which is fine with me i can´t take her, i can barely look at her.

After school i just walked home i need to be alone and to think if i´m going to do the right thing.  
Later at that night at 8 i went into the livingroom to my parents "you okay darling."  
"Yeah look i know you to don´t understand me or why i dress like i do and the make-up and stuff" they both nodded "well i was 10 when i began to draw it was a way for me to get my anger out on and as a 13 year old i begin to draw the death sign" they both looked shocked and i put 6 books up on the coffee table "i´m a punk and i realised that young i just began dressing like it later on and i want you both to understand me so look in these books and then come to me."  
"If your been drawing since you were 10 how only 6 books" my dad asks.  
"I drawed when i was angry or whatever feeling i made a picture of how i felt and i want you both to know how i´ll been feeling all these years i´ll not been okay or fine i´ll been the opposite and it´s time for you to, to know me and these books are all me" i got up and walked back to my room and i feel good about this.

A week later.  
I just got dressed and did my make-up, my jeans are white with holes on the knees and a dark red tee and a black hoodie, make-up it´s white and red with black lipstick.  
Friday morning i found both my parents at the kitchen table with my books in front of them, i took my morning juice and sat down with them something just told me to do so.  
"I´m sorry darling really sorry we have no idea you felt so dark lost or that mad."  
"i didn´t show them you to guys to make you feel guilty i just wanted you to know how i felt and who i am."  
"We don´t feel guilty Louis but i got an offer that i couldn´t turn down and we´re be moving in 2 months" i can´t believe it i knew it was to good to be true to stay a place for a year.  
Without a word i got up for the chair and i took my glass there is still half full with juice and throw at the wall behind my dad and then i walked out the door without looking back once.  
I finally made friend and now have to say fucking goodbye to them great just fucking great.  
On my way i just hear Sia´s Titanium i feel like that song understands my feeling today.  
For once i didn´t go to school right away instead i went to the tattoo shop and had far away made as well as card and then a lip ring at my side and a nose ring.  
When i finally made it i had missed first class but i don´t care, i just went to art class and work on my picture, i just want to be alone the last time i was this passed i drawed the ultimate death symbol and it made me calm down.  
Now i have my painting to help which it also does, i found a new song Broken by Lovelytheband.  
Before i knew it other students came in but i didn´t look away from my work not untill someone shaked my shoulder "you okay Lou."  
I looked over at Zayn "no i´m fucking pissed Z my fucking dad just told me he got an offer somewhere else so i´ll be moving soon a fucking gain."  
"I´m sorry to hear that Lou but it be okay we´re keep in touch promise."  
"It´s not that Z i just finally made friends for the first since i was a kid and now i´m looking at the potential i won´t see you guys again."  
"You won´t lose us Lou no matter where you go we´re here for you no mere then a call or text away."  
"It sounds good but it´s more that they don´t ask me just tell me like i´m no factor in anything and that´s pisses me off Z and i also don´t want to leave i like it here."  
"Lou it´s okay you can tell me who you like and that´s the real reason."  
I just looked over at him but i can´t say it not yet at least.  
"Lou Haz likes you to if that´s want you don´t want to say."  
"What."  
"I know you to like each other maybe even more and no i´m okay with it yes i still have feelings for you but i also want you to be happy and you and Haz make each other smile for no reason at all."  
"I´m so sorry Z."  
"I get it it´s Haz and not me" he said nicely "we don´t decide who we fall for" he kissed me and i kissed him back "i just had to kiss you one last time."  
"It´s okay i´m glad you did but when i kiss Haz or when i do then you can´t anymore."  
"I´m cool with that."  
We went back to work and for once since this morning i felt good.

After school i went home, no way in hell i´m moving again.  
My parents are sitting in the livingroom so i went in there.  
"Hi Louis about this morning your mom and i think it´s time we do something about your anger issues."  
"Dad for once just shut the fuck up" i said but calm.  
"Louis William Tomlinson" my mom said mad.  
"Will you both just shut the hell up and for once let me talk" i said annoyed and they nodded "whenever we are moving you just tell me like i´m not a factor in anything and i´m fucking sick of it and my anger is because you never consider me just assume i´ll come along with a smile but hell no not this time" i told them "you can move all you want but i´m staying here to finish high school like i was promised" i said "look for once i made friends actually friends and not just a loner anymore" i took a breath "i´m not saying i´ll stay in this big house alone just an apartment."  
They looked at each other then back at me "you don´t need to say anything just think about it okay" i left the room and went to my own room.  
I throw my bag on the floor and lay down in my bed, could Z really be right i do love Haz do i have feelings for him and if i do how didn´t i love Zayn if i can love Harry.  
Harry and i are to different while Zayn and i like many of the same things so how the hell can i love one over the other it makes absolutely no sense, one things for sure love isn´t easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter and let me know what you think :).
> 
> Next chapter will come next friday :) so hang on cause a lot is still happening ;D.


	3. We´re Perfect Symbol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it so far :).

A month later my parents had rented a small house for me so i didn´t had to move with them, for once they heard me, and i moved happily out and into my own house, this is a dream to true my very own space.  
I decorated the house in my own image and i love it, it´s dark twisted and wicked perfect for my taste and different symbols on the walls.  
There is the big bedroom and small one, a kitchen not to big nor to small, bathroom in the perfect size, livingroom in the perfect size as well.  
It also become the place where Z Haz and Niall hang out after school but i´m cool with it i like having them here.  
I have also never felt more in touch with myself or my emotions, it help moving out and into myself i don´t feel anger anymore or not like i use to, now i actually feel happy for maybe the first time ever in my life, i find myself smiling when i look at my own reflection in the mirror, i feel good and that´s new for me and i´m glad.  
I woke up to my alarm at 7 so i got out of bed and got dressed in wine red jeans, a purple tee with holes and a black hoodie, it´s colder outside winter is soon here.  
My make-up is black and red eyeshadow and white lipstich.  
I went into the kitchen and had my juice and then in the mini washer that my parents also bought me.  
My music today is Little Mix with Sweet Melody and Happiness, may today be the day i tell Haz or try to tell him how i actually feel about him.  
I live 5 minutes closer to school so it only takes me 15 instead of 20.  
When i got there i saw Harry and Zayn talking and Harry was showing his fucking dimpled smile that made me fall for him in the first place but of course he doesn´t know that yet.  
"Hi guys" i said and took my earphones out.  
"Hi Lou guess what" Harry smile.  
"Just tell me you know i don´t guess."  
"The whole school is going swimming tomorrow no classes just fun."  
"Isn´t it great and my body had never looked better just wait" Zayn said, i haven´t see either of their bodies before.  
"Yeah no it´s great" i faked a smile, i don´t have body issues i just don´t think my body is all that or all that great whatever the different is if any at all "well let´s get to class."  
English was boring as always but i´d keep up in my boringness.  
Instead of meeting up with the other i just went to art class to my project and it´s last day today and though i´m almost done with it, it also missing many details so better get to work.  
Half through class i finish the picture "excuse me teach."  
"Yes mr Tomlinson" he smile.  
"I´m done with my project so could i go on with my other picture" i asks.  
"Sure go ahead we won´t show the pictures before the day after tomorrow" he told us.  
So i went to work on my other picture it´s time to finish it and good thing there´s not long back before it´s done.  
When the class was over i walked out and see if i can find Harry but before i´d i went to the bathroom to fix my eyeliner and lipstick, then to find Harry, which i´d outside under the tree.  
I walked over to him fast "hi Haz can we talk a sec."  
"Of course have a sit Lou" he smile and i sat down "what´s up."  
"Just can you meet up after school my mine."  
"Sure i can but what´s going on anyway" he asks.  
"I´ll tell you later promise" i got up and walked away, i can´t tell him while being in school this in to be in private.

After school was out i walked home cause Harry has his car but i prefer to walk, when i got there Harry was waiting outside my door "you know i had room in the car right" he said.  
"Yeah i know i just like to walk" i said and we went in and i closet the door behind us and then into the livingroom, we sat down in the couch, i took my hoddie off.  
"So we´re alone now Lou so what was so bloody important that you couldn´t tell me in school" he asks.  
It´s now or never Louis you can do this "i like you Haz as in i have feelings for you i like you" i told him.  
He didn´t reply instead he kissed me and like a reflex i kissed him back and before i knew it i had him on top of me while deepening the sweet kiss, i´ll never once been kissed like this or kissed back at least i hope it as good as what i´m getting.  
We both pulled away when it became a bit too much (as if ;P)  
"you have white lips Haz" i grin.  
"Well my crush uses lipstick so i´ll proudly wear it to cause i´m not done kissing you" he smile which made me smile.  
"So you like me back" i had to ask.  
"Only since day one but you had eyes for Zayn so."  
"Haz i had eyes for you both but i wasn´t in love with Z i couldn´t love him but i think i can love you if you give me the chance to that is."  
"Not even a question Lou" he smile and i kissed him again.  
While we were kissing i felt a hard dick against my leg so i slowly stopped the kissing "are you hard or."  
"Of course i´m hard Lou how can i not be with how we just kissed" i smirk "your not hard are you."  
"No but you are a turn on Haz but i´m just not ready for sex yet."  
"it´s okay i know you never done anything but kiss and when you ready i´m here" i just looked at him "i´m not a virgin Lou i lost mine when i were 15 to my ex."  
"Good to know then you´ll tell me if i do something wrong when we get there."  
"Lou you won´t be bad only good i can tell" we sat up again and i just looked at him "when you with someone you love it can only be good" he smile.  
"I hope your right Haz cause i´ll never done a damn thing and now i´m looking at the potential that i´m about to love you and i can´t i mean i don´t i mean oh damn it ah i don´t wanna be bad but good."  
"Babe you are good i mean the way you just fucked my mouth i can only imagine how amazing you´ll be in bed when that time comes" he smile at me again.  
"Wanna watch a movie or something Haz."  
"Sure whatever your in the mood for."  
I found Lord of the rings and put the first on and out to the kitchen to get some drinks for us and then back to him again.  
"I didn´t know you liked the lord of the rings Lou."  
"There is still lots you don´t know about me Haz but you will with time" he smile.  
While we were watching the movie i lied down with Harry on my stomach with my arm down his side, somehow i never felt more happy just by looking down seeing the smiling lad on my stomach i wanna get use to it just lying here like this feel so right like i never felt so right ever before.  
When the movie finish Harry had to go home so we kissed bye at the door, i went back to pop the second movie on and took my drawing book to make something for Haz.

The next day i put on waterproof make-up, purple and black eyeshadow and red lipstich.  
Then i packed my swim shorts and a towel, i fucking hate idea of everyone seeing me half naked when i doesn´t even really like my own body that much, i feel ugly most of the time when i´m in my own shower.

When i got to the school there was too buses outside the door, some students stood outside the buses doors, others were sitting in the buses already.  
As i got closer my eye cut Haz and Z but no Niall which is weird but i walked over to them "hi guys where´s Niall at."  
"He´s sick so just us today" Zayn said and i nodded.  
"well let´s get in" i was right on Harry´s tail with Z on mine.  
Harry sat by the window and i sat next to him and Zayn sat in front of us next to a girl from our art class.  
"If i were to kiss you now Lou would my lips turn red to" he girn.  
"No all my make-up is waterproof so your safe today" i girn.  
"So when did you to find out and got together" Zayn asks nice.  
"yesterday we were at Lou´s and we talked and well kissed a lot" he smile.  
"I´m happy you to got each other really one of us should have Lou" i raised an eyebrow.  
Before i got the chance to reply to that Haz´s lips were on mine and i just closet my eyes and kissed him back in enjoyment, a small part of me do miss Zayn´s kisses but it´s nothing like Harry´s which is good.  
Haz and i first stopped kissing when the bus stopped at the indoor pool.  
We got into the mens changing room, good thing i also packed clean clothes till after which will also go better with my make-up, by the time i began to take my hoddie off the others were half naked already and damn Harry looks so good he has a killer body, i took my tee off as well as my jeans "damn Lou your body is magnificent so glad i finally got to see you" Harry smile.  
I just put my lips together i´m not really sure about that but took my underwear off as well and fast on with my shorts.  
"Lou you are beautiful" he kissed me "your breathtaking love don´t feel anything but that."  
"I just i feel ugly sometimes i´m not always happy about myself" this is me being nothing but honest.  
"If i have to tell you every day how beautiful are before you start to believe i´ll do it" he smile.  
"let´s just hit the showers and get this over with" i said.  
Harry and i walked hand in hand over to the showers and when we got under the water feels good "woo Lou killer body" Zayn said.  
"I told you so" Harry smrik.  
I just shaked my head and turned around so no one can see me or at least i teel myself that "he feel ugly from time to time" Harry told Zayn i think.  
"Ugly there´s nothing ugly about you Lou okay your wonderful and kind hearted" Zayn told me.  
"Thanks but please" i try to be nice.

We hit the pool and when i got in i felt better cause no one can see my body or not well at least, Harry jumped in and then swim over to me while smiling and then we kissed and it was sweet "Lou are we dating or boyfriends i´ll just like to know."  
"Why got a hot tonight" i joked.  
"Maybe but are" i can´t make out if he serious or makeing fun.  
"You tell me Haz" that i meant.  
"I think we´re boyfriends and my hot date could be you tonight."  
"Then i´m your boyfriend and hot date whatever that means" he just girn into another kiss.  
When we kiss or when i kiss him i feel like his boyfriend and nothing else "Haz later on i want to show you something special something there means the world to me something i´ll never showed anyone else" i don´t think i could be more sincere.  
"Okay Lou i´m at you place after well pooling" we both girn "could you give me a hint of what it is" he asks.  
"I could but i won´t" i smile into another kiss.  
Harry begin to swim around and then Zayn came over "hi you look happy Lou" i look at him "hey i want you to be happy."  
"I can´t help it Z i´m in love with him i just wished i could had loved you" i really do mean it.  
"Hey Haz and I both crushed pretty hard on you" i bite my lip "your heart belongs to Hazzy and it´s fine and honestly i can´t remember the last time he smiled like that" he smile.  
"Right now i just wanna kiss the pain i cost you away i´m just really so sorry i hurt you Z" i feel like crap for that.  
"Just make my best friend happy Lou and we´re go from there" he said.  
"I can do that promise" i smile and somehow we just leaned in and we kissed.  
We pulled away "i don´t know what that was but."  
"But what" i asks.  
"It was good but Haz´s right there and it can´t happen again."  
"No i know it can´t and i don´t know either what it was but let´s call it a friendly kiss cause i´m still in love with Harry and i can´t fuck it up before it even begins also i´m no cheater."  
"I don´t want you to one either so friendly kiss."  
"Hi guys what´s up with you to" Harry asks.  
"Just talking is all right Z."  
"You said it Lou well i´ll leave you to too it" he walked away again.  
"You saw it didn´t you Haz" i asks.  
"I´d yeah but it´s okay i heard you to talking and i´m in love with you to" i couldn´t help but smile.  
We just kissed each other, whatever happen with Zayn won´t ever happen again not while i´m with Harry.

Later on at my house.  
"What was it you wanted to show me Lou."  
I took my book and open it and found the page and then i sat down next to Harry on the couch "this."  
He looked at the symbol with a puzzled look "what kind of symbol is this and why are you showing me it" he asks.  
"It how i think of us" i said "it´s the symbol for we´re perfect Haz" i told.  
"So like a love symbol" he asks  
"Kinda yeah but most of all i love you Haz" i smile.  
"I love you to Lou" he smile and throw himself at me in a sweet kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here the new chapter :) let me know what you all think :).
> 
> Next chapter next week :).


	4. All Or Nothing

We have a few months left of high school now and Haz and i are still together and super happy and our sex life is on fire, we had been together for a few months when we had sex the first time i just felt ready and Harry is fucking big, i was surprised i could even take him, he also had me up and he said it was the best sex he ever had.  
I also can´t believe Haz and i have been together 5 months and still as in love it´s just fucking great.  
I even got in at Uni of California and School of the art institute of chicago which is the dream i got in at too of the best art uni´s i could ever ask for.  
Then there was a knock on the door and before i could yell come in the door open "hi babe it´s me."  
"Livingroom darling" yeah Harry just kinda knock and walk in not that i mind he´s my boyfriend after all.  
"Hi honey" he said as he walked and sat next to me and we kissed each other "i got in at OxFord love i´m so happy" he smile wild.  
"Hey that´s amazing sweetheart" i smile " i got in at Uni of California and School of the art institute of chicago which is my dream" i smile.  
"That´s so amazing love" we kissed again.  
We just talked about our college´s and stuff and how great we felt about and before i knew it, it was dinner time " you wanna stay and order in or are you doing home for dinner" i asks.  
"Let´s order in and watch a movie" he read my mind.

We had a nice evening till Harry had to go home so we kissedbye at the door as always and then i walked back in the livingroom.  
The only thing Harry and i didn´t even consider in our talk was each other i mean i want to my dream more then anything but i also can´t lose Harry and what we have, am i ready for that to something so amazing.  
I just hope we´re talk more about it as time goes on cause there only to months left of school.

And i was wrong we haven´t talked once about what´s gonna happen after next month the last month of fucking high school.  
Friday after school was out i went home with my bag and then to Harry´s house.  
His mother Anne let me in and i walked up to Harry´s room, seconds later i was stting next him on his bed "what´s up love miss me already."  
"That to yeah" i smile and we kissed "look we need to talk darling."  
"Okay about what baby" he asks.  
"About uni and what´s gonna happen to our relationship" i told.  
"Who says anything has to happen love" he looks at me.  
"Haz my uni is in the us not uk like yours" i said "i love you and i don´t want to lose this."  
"Neither do i Lou and i love you to" he smile "i just what do we do" he asks.  
"I have every reason to go and make my dream but if you can give me a reason to stay i will" i told him.  
"I want you to make your dream true it´s all you been talking about the last 6 months and i want to do the same" he said.  
"So your telling me to go Haz" i asks i want be 100% sure.  
"I´m telling you to fight for your dream."  
"Okay i guess i´ll see you aound then" i got up and was about to walk out the door but then Harry grab my arm.  
"What´s that´s suppose to mean i´ll see you aound like we just broke up" he looked up at me.  
"Didn´t we Harry" i asks "i asked you to give me a reason not to go but instead you asked me to go."  
Then he got up "what do you want me to say" he said a bit annoyed.  
"I want you to be my fucking reason to stay and not go to the fucking us Harry be my fucking reason" i said loud.  
"Do you really think i want you to go and leave me hell no i love you damn it but i just don´t want you to hate me one day cause you didn´t get it" he said loud.  
"I could never hate you Haz but if i go and leave my boyfriend when would we see each other with a damn ocean between us."  
"I want you to stay lou with my whole heart i want you to not go but i´m not sure what to say other then i love you."  
"I know one thing Haz."  
"Whatever is it just say it."  
"Marry me Harry i love you so much and i want to make a life here with you" i went down on one knee "marry me Harry Styles be my one reason."  
He just looks at me in disbelieve "Lou think about what you just asks me" he said but then i pulled a ring out my pocket and his eyes got bigger "oh my god you have thought about it."  
"Of course i have Haz i saw this ring a month and to weeks ago and it screams you so what´s your answer."  
"Yes i´ll marry you i´ll be your reason" we both smile and i put he ring on his finger "don´t leave me alone" he said.  
I got up again and we kissed each other "and i kinda send an apply to OxFord last month and i´ll be hearing from them any day now" i told him.  
"What" he said in shock "you applied to go to OxFord why."  
"So i could be near you i just needed to see and hear if we have a future together and it wasn´t just me fighting for us i needed to see you do it to" i smile.  
"Your such a jerk right now but you have the next 80 years to make up for it love" he smile.  
"Darling that´s all i´m asking and you just gave me the reason i needed to stay my love."  
"One question."  
"Ask away love."  
"Since you asked me to marry you when do we get married then honey."  
"Maybe after you turn 18 and then for all i care we can hit city hall i don´t care i just i love you Harry."  
"I love you to and i don´t care either as long as we´re together the place doesn´t matter" we just kissed each other in happiness.

A year later.  
My parents met Harry the day we got married cause they´ll been moving cause of their work, they were happy to meet him and wished us nothing but love and happiness in our future and both our parents gladly gave us to each other at city hall on Harry´s 18 birthday.  
Needless to say i got in at OxFord and we were sharing our room, the first time i saw our name Styles-Tomlinson at our dorm room it was weird but good and wonderful weird.  
We took each other last name before we started at OxFord, we both knew we´re forever and we would last, we may not be married yet but where does it say you can´t take you future husband´s name anyway.

Since we started we´re been working our asses off, art may be my pashin but it also kinda kicking my ass right now but i refuse to give up i´m no quitter damn it.  
I may paint in a dark twisted and wicked way with a bit of light since i saw the light when i fall in love with my husband.  
I´m still punk just as much when i met them, nothing can or will change me, i love my look and so does Harry, i may not like his but i like it on him and i wouldn´t change him.  
I was on my way to the dorm when i suddanly just felt sick and i don´t think it was the salad i eat for lunch, i just feel the need to vomit right here on the spot but instead i ran to the mensroom to throw up down the drain and it was disgusting, i got up and flush it out and then walk out.  
When i got the dorm i sat down in one of the couch´s, damn i feel bad but i don´t have a fever or anything like that so i don´t get how i can feel so sick just like that.  
When Harry came in i was watching tv try not to think about how sick i feel "hi honey" he smile but it faded when he looked at me "you okay you look pale love" he said worried.  
"I don´t feel very good but i don´t have a fever i´m just feel sick to my stomach."  
"You just sit there and i´ll make you some soup love" he said.  
"Oh no i was just about to go out and kick a ball around" i said a bit too sarcastic but just the mere thought of getting up made my stomach turn.  
"That´s what you get for being a sarcastic ass sweetheart but i´ll be back soon and i love you."  
"I love you to but i won´t promise i´ll eat a thing" he just rolled his eyes and it made me smirk.  
After going from channel to channel i found Elvira´s Mistress of the dark movie, it´s one of my fave movies.  
20 minutes into the film harry returned and started to make the soup but all it did was making me nauseous so i ran to the bathroom to throw up again and then back to sit in the couch again "god Lou you really don´t feel well."  
"No why would i lie about being sick Haz" i asks him.  
"No i mean you look pale but i didn´t know it was vomit bad but good thing the soup is almost ready and don´t worry it´s vegetarian friendly i know you don´t eat meat."  
"No offence darling but the smell makes me nauseous" i said i don´t mean to be mean.  
"You need to eat something love" my dear husband said.  
Minutes later he gave me a plate with soup and though it makes me nauseous it also looks really good so i took the spoon and put some in my mouth, good thing the plate is on the table cause one spoon full was enough to send me to the bathroom again to vomit.  
I walked in again and sat down again "Haz my love please take it away as good as it is i can´t keep anything down."  
"Okay Lou but when you do feel hunger tell me and i´ll make you something honey" he took the plate away and put it down in the sink.  
"Promise i will but right now please just cuddle me till my stomach falls down again."  
I have the best husband ever he just cuddles me while we watched movies.  
If anyone were to tell me i would be anything but a loner a year ago i would have said fuck off but instead i meet the love of my life as an 18 year old lad and now almost too years later i married him, the lonely heart wasn´t as lonely as i thought, i just needed to met the right lad to make me happy.  
For dinner we ordered pizza i felt the need to eat a pizza, though it was just what i needed i also couldn´t keep it down, it´s like nothing agrees with my stomach and it´s fucking frustrating "Lou if you don´t feel better in the morning i´m calling the doctor" he said as i sat down again.  
"You can call now for all i care Haz i feel like crap."  
Then he took his cell and called and minutes later he hang up "tomorrow at 9am Lou" i just nodded.

The next day in the waiting room, i still feel like crap i´ll never felt like this without a fever or just something.  
We had waited 10 minutes when my name was called "Louis Styles-Tomlinson" she called and i got up "the doctor is ready to see you now" i just nodded and we followed her to the office "right in here and who´s this with you" she asks.  
"Harry my husband" i said and she rolled her eyes which i saw "what was that eye roll about" i asks her.  
"Just your cute and i kinda hate your gay" she said.  
"Well almost all the hottest guys are either gay or not straight" i told her and took Harry with into the office.  
We took a sit and soon after the doctor came in "hi you to i´m doctor Cabello" she said sweet and took a sit herself "so who of you to are Louis" she asks.  
"That would be me doc" i replied.  
"Okay so you been feeling sick if i understand correct."  
"Yeah it started yesterday out of the blue and no matter what i eat i can´t keep it down and i just feel like crap to be honest" she nodded.  
"Well i take some test and we´re find out what´s going on in that belly of your."  
She took the test and 10 minutes later she came back with the answers or so i hope "well doc what´s wrong with me."  
"Well Louis i have one last test to do but i think you both will be extremely happy" Harry and i just looked at each other not sure how to react or anything.  
Then she took a machine and asked me to lay down on the bed thing and i´d and then she pulled my hoddie up with my tee and put some cold stuff on my stomach and used the machine "you see this" pointed at the screen and we just nodded "well this your baby" she smile.  
"Wait i´m pregnant but how i mean i´ll never knew i could i mean" i´m so lost.  
"You have the gene and i´m sorry i drop the bomb i thought you knew."  
I looked up at Harry "so i guess we´re have a child soon" i don´t know if i should be happy or what i´m not sure how i feel.  
"How far is my husband doc" he asks and his tone is happy.  
"3 months far and i´ll leave and give you a couple of minutes" she smile and walked out.  
"You ready for this Haz."  
"Lou" he smile "your pregnant with out baby honey" he kissed me "i do wish we were older but i´m so ready for this love how about you."  
"I think i´m gonna throw up" Harry took a bucket and i just throw up in it, then he put it down again "i´m not sure i´m ready yet Harry if the thought of having a baby makes me vomit" but then i saw Harry face "Haz i love you so much you took this lonely heart and made it your and i really do want to start a family with you."  
"Lou i´m not mad just maybe a bit down cause we´re not on the same page with family but i also don´t want to put pleasure on you love if your not ready your not ready" he said.  
Maybe i could be ready i mean 6 months is a long time and i could learn to love him or her, then the doc came in again "so you both okay" she asks we both nodded "good now do you wanna know the sex."  
"Yes please" That made Harry look down at me but i don´t care i wanna know.  
"you´ll be having a son boys" she smile.  
"My husband is pregnant with a boy" Harry smile big.  
"He is yeah but what is your thought on it."  
I looked from the doc to my husband and i see the hope and love in his eyes and i want to be on the same page as him on this child "We´re keep him while also take it one day at time" i smile at Harry "i may not be all that ready yet but 6 months is a long time and i´ll be ready when he comes" we kissed each other happily.

When we came back from the doctors we sat down in the couch "Lou tell me you didn´t yes to our son because of me cause i get your not ready" i just looked at him and smile.  
"I didn´t Haz i may not love him yet but i think i´m still in shock from the news" i said "i didn´t know i could even get pregnant i mean how could i your are my first lover but i´ll get there my love."  
He kissed me "i love you so much Lou" he kissed me again and then he lay a hand on my stomach "i love you to sweetheart."  
Seeing him talk to our son made me feel warm and actually happy "one question Haz darling."  
"Ask away love" he looked up at me again.  
"Who´s the dad and papa or papi or daddy or i mean the list goes on."  
"Not sure Lou bu..wait are you" i love the surprised look on his face and i nodded "Louis Styles-Tomlinson i love you so fucking much my darling" we kissed each other happiness "i honestly think whatever feel best for us both love."  
"I think it´s gonna be dad and daddy cause i honestly i don´t believe other one´s are good enough to use my love" i told him.

The same night.  
We just had sex and Haz is out for the world "Okay baby boy i know dad and i made you out of love but i´m gonna be honest with you right now" i took a breath "i don´t really love you yet but your dad oh man your dad love´s you so much already" i put a hand on my stomach "when your dad talked to you earlier it did made me wanna love you son cause i love your dad more then i ever thought was humanly possible to love someone and with that said i know i´ll love you to and we´re both know when the moment will be."  
I fall asleep in the arms of my husband and i fall in a deep sleep.

Over the next weeks i kicked art´s ass i´m back baby and better then ever and i finished both picture i started before i was knock up but it´s the pregnancy made me wanna work harder which is good and i even started a new picture with the hellhound saving a baby from the angels, being pregnant hasn´t change my way of thinking when i paint, i like the idea the hellhound would keep a child safe, scary meets beauty or beauty meets scary i don´t know what to say other then the idea is great.  
Harry and i may not have any classes together but we are studying different things, he wants to be a teacher and he work hard for it just like i am with my art, i want to have my own gallery one day to show scary dark and all that can be beautiful, i wanna show the beauty in dark and damaged.

4 years later.  
After we finished OxFord, i meet up with people see if i could start my own gallery and when i told them my idea´s all but one said on, the guy there said yes his name is Liam and he thought my idea was great and new and something there hasn´t been seen yet.  
So i went to work and 4 years later i was ready for it to open.  
I was in the middle of sitting the last few things up and make sure everything was ready and perfect for opening night, then the door open and my husband of almost 6 years came in with our son "Daddy" he ran over and into my arms.  
I lift him up "hi love" i kissed his cheek "what do you think Blac did your daddy do well" i asks the lad in my arms.  
"Yeah it´s cool daddy" he hug me and i hug him back, i came to love my son the first time i felt his first kick, he knocked some sense into me ;P.  
"Darling this is amazing i´m so proud of you" we kissed each other "i love that you put the picture you painted of Blac and the hellhound up" he smile.  
"Our son was the inspiration for it love" i put Blac down.  
There is still 10 minutes till it´s time to open so we walked a bit around "I don´t think i´ll seen this picture before honey" i looked at the one Harry was pointing at and i smile.  
"That´s because you haven´t till now darling" i smile up at the picture.  
"It looks like the hellhound is protecting the devil" then he looked closer "is the devil pregnant i think i see a bump" i don´t think Harry put it together yet.  
Then i saw Blac over by the table with the wine "Blac hands off it´s not for you love" he then walked to us again and Harry is still looking at the picture.  
"Haz you okay it´s like the picture has you under a spell" i girn.  
"I just can´t help but think there is some meaning with it" then he got big eyes, it finally hit him and he looked at me "Lou your pregnant" i smile.  
"Oh my god oh my god" he hugged me tight and then we kissed each other "how far along are you" he smile.  
"Took you long enough to put it together love" i smirk "i´m 2 months so far and i wanted to surprise you with the picture and glad to see my plan worked."  
"I´ll say it did i´m so happy" we kissed again and then he took Blac up "Blac your gonna be a big brother darling"  
"Daddy you have my brother or sister in your belly" he asks.  
"Daddy has your baby brother or sister in his belly sweetheart" i smile and kissed his cheek "can i feel your belly daddy."  
"There nothing to feel yet love it´s still early but just wait i´ll tell you when you can feel him or her" we smile at each other.  
Then i saw what time it is and it´s time to open, i walked over to open the doors and the first one´s in was our parents, we hugged and kissed each other´s cheeks, then everyone else came in as well.  
Neddless to say opening night was everything i hope for and more much more, it was a big success.

A month later.  
"Do you wanna know the sex" the doc asks.  
"We would love to" i smile at Harry.  
"Your having a girl guys" we smile at each other before we kissed "would you like a picture."  
"3 would be great doc thanks" he nodded and walked.  
I took some paper and dried my stomach then i sat down "in 6 months we´re have a new member to our family darling" i smile.  
"We will honey and god i love you and thank you for giving us our kids" we kissed again.  
"Hey it´s all or nothing right" we smile at each other "this here and Blac is all i want i love you so much Haz."  
When our daughter is born everything we be even more perfect then it already is and we can´t wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and sadly it´s the end now but i hope you´ll been pleased :).
> 
> I´ll love your input :).
> 
> I hope they weren´t to much at times and if they were to bad ;P.

**Author's Note:**

> If there anything there could had been better let me know :).
> 
> Till then next chapter :) all my love :).


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